To the man who has decided to pursue my heart,
I want to inform you of a few things.
For starters, I am a child of God. I am a daughter of the King. I expect you to treat me as so, just as I will treat you as a son of the King. I have been created in the image of God, just as you were and I say we view each other in that light. I am pursing Christlikeness and God’s will and how He may use me. I expect you to be able to say the same about yourself. I am a growing disciple. I am learning to be a disciple maker. I promise to hold you to be doing the same.
I am a woman. Therefore, I will be your helper and encourager. Truthfully, it will be hard for me at times, but I desire to fulfill that role the way the Bible indicates and will work at loving you completely and being this woman for you as we grow in our relationship. In this though, I expect you to be a godly man, not a Christian dude. I will hold you accountable to that, just as I plead with you to hold me accountable and call me out.
Here is my view on marriage: if God intends for me to get married, it is because for whatever reason, said man and I will be more effective as disciples in partnership together and be more fruitful in sharing the gospel together than we would on our own. I think a husband and wife should be best friends and be able to be truly themselves with each other. Be growing together. Be silly together. Be doing life together. Be disciples together. I believe a marriage should look like Christ pursing us, and the love between and husband and wife should be a direct reflection of the gospel. Everything about a marriage is a reflection of God’s character and what Jesus did for the world.
I may not be the prettiest, smartest, funniest, or strongest woman you will meet, but I do have attributes to bring to the table. God has gifted me with certain traits and talents. Let me grow in and use in these to the fullest. Honestly, I hope they are what attracts you to me. Sometimes I forget them though, remind me of them from time to time, just as I will remind you of your strengths and how I see God using you. Know that I have friends and family who love me and care about me. I am of worth to God and of worth to them.
In a relationship, as already stated, I want to be your helper and encourager. I want to help you be the man the Bible says you should be and who God has called you to be. I want to be some positivity and uplifting in your life, reminding you of what Christ has done and what God is doing and of the good and beautiful things around us. I will hold you accountable and let you be the man you strive to be in our relationship. I want to commit to loving you and meeting you where you are. I want to be your best friend. I want to do life with you. I want to talk about what’s going on in your head and heart. I want to be silly and act stupid with you. I want to have deep, Jesus real talk with you. I want to study God’s word with you. I want to lay around and watch movies with you. I want to make disciples with you. I want to share the gospel alongside you. I want to share in what you love to do and whatever your interests may be.
In a relationship I am expecting you to be the man the Bible calls you to be. Be that leader. Love me, but love Christ first just as I will be doing. Be honest with me. Keep pursing my heart. Keep running after Jesus. Keep making disciples.
If you have committed your life to Christ, are striving to be the man the Bible calls you to be and are ok with all of the above statements, initiate a conversation with me. I promise I don’t bite! If any of this you are not ok with, then I’m sorry, but a relationship between us is not probable.
I don’t know if I have met this man or if I will ever meet this man, but I am hopeful and expectant of God and until he comes around, I will keep leaning into the gospel, keep investing in those around me, and keep growing in knowledge of scripture as God makes me fall more in love with Him. I will not just sit around and wait for Prince Charming with my life on pause when I already know the Prince of Peace.
My reason for blogging this letter is not to advertise what I think or feel. I pray this letter makes you think. I pray it points you to the Bible when it comes to relationships. Ladies, who does the Bible call you to be? If you’re single, quit moping and beating yourself up. Find the life God has for you right now. If a man comes along, awesome! But guess what, the greatest man that ever lived is already desiring a relationship with you and wants to meet you right where you are-right now in the midst of your mess. Men, who does the Bible call you to be? Find out! Step up. Rely on the gospel as you work to try and figure these traits out. Ladies raise your standards, and men-you do the same of us, then let’s each try and reach those standards the Bible sets ourselves.